K. Obviously this is bugging me a little cause I'm staying up when all I've wanted tonight at work was to come home and crawl into bed with Stac and hug. Maybe it was the onset of a little bit of homesickness that enrichment stirred up last night. Maybe it was a little stress that happened tonight. Maybe it's being pregnant and hormonal. Maybe its the sickness that she feels all day because of the pregnant. Maybe it's Zoee being away for so long. Or maybe its all in my head. Whatever it is and whatever is causing it, I wish I could do something. Stac texted me both last night and tonight while I'm stuck at work pretty much saying she wished I could come home and we could be together and hang out and do married people things. (But, as much as I wish I could, I can't. When work slows down and it becomes the easiest to not work and come home when they don't need so many people, it is then that I feel the most obligation to stay at work and earn a little bit of money. Because it is then that we begin to really feel how little extra money we really don't have.) I think that one of the hardest things about being married and loving someone so much is trying to figure out what/if/how to help them when they just feel sad. I love this girl so freaking much! I totally want to make Stac feel better but I don't know how; or even if there is anything I can do in the first place. I feel frustrated. I feel sad simply because I know she's not happy these last couple nights. I feel pretty helpless as a husband and even as a friend. I just hope she knows how much I love her. I love being married to her. I love that we get to laugh at each other every day. I love that we can laugh at each other. I love that she is such a good mom to Zoee. I love so many things about her. I love who she is and why she is that way. I love Stacy. (If I didn't, I don't think I would've married her.) Nate hearts Stacy.
AND
On top of all that I've pretty much decided that I don't like doing what I do. The only reason I am still there is because it is paying my bills. Can I just put out the obvious "Duh!!" statement of the day and just say that it sucks, I mean sucks, having a shitty job you don't like.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Nate hearts Stacy
Posted by Stac at 1:17 AM
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5 comments:
yes, it does. But, "this is a small moment". It will pass when you move forward with your police goal. You have great integrity and are doing what husbands/fathers/men do. Provide. Love. Support (physically and emotionally). I know Stacy knows how much you love her. It's obvious to everyone. And, Stac...we love you too, and are sorry you are homesick.
very heartfelt and loving, your love for stacy shows like nothing I have ever seen. I too am highly homesick, but it will pass, think of all the great times!
Nate you Freakin' ROCK!
Nate I think you got your head on pretty straight there brother and that basically you just have to hold on and wait for the police thing to happen. As For Loving Stacey I have to give you big props on that one cause she is one cool hippie chick not to mention your daughter is a cutie patootie.
Yeah, I feel for Stac right now...I'm pretty dang homesick myself! Chin up Stac! It's easier when you just don't think about it. As for your job, what's going on in that whole police thing? And what about having Stac's dad hook you up with a job up there? (Sorry all you Garrards out there who read this, I just know it would make Stac happy). :)
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