So I missed 2 sunday nights... get off my back.

K. So I thought I was getting all good at the whole blog thing on sunday nights; all high and mighty. As some of you may have noticed, I've missed both of the last 2 sunday nights. FREAKIN SORRY PEOPLE! Oh well.

So there have been a couple developments in this little Garrard family in the past week or so. I'll try to cover them all but also attempt to keep this under a few minutes worth of reading since I'm sure that some of my family might be having to pay for internet since they're in Mexico this week. Kinda would like to have been able to go cause I really like the idea of laying in a hammock for a week while the ocean is right in the backyard. I hope they have a fun, safe week.

First- I (Nate) had to return the beginning paperwork of my background check today. Long story short, I made it just fine, was able to collect and track down all the info I needed to submit, and had every little thing I needed; and every little bit of drama leading into it ended up not being nearly the deal I made it out to be. Those details in a second. So I went in, handed everything in, copies were made, several questions were asked to help clarify, and I was given another packet of stuff and given another appointment to be back April 10. This packet is a preliminary packet I have to have ready prior to my Voice Stress Analysis/Lie Detector. Anything from that packet could be brought up and discussed, and thusly, analyzed. Not very nervous about that for now, but I'm sure that as time gets closer, I'll get more and more nervous. I'm just a little scared that I'll remember something in the middle of it all that I didn't cover in the packet and make it look like something it isn't.
Here's my by-far-the-most-disappointing-point-in-my-career-as-a-dad moment I've had yet and I hope the last. So I'd been working on that dumb packet of background check stuff for about 2 1/2 weeks. This happened yesterday. I was hanging out with Zoee downstairs and had been for a while. All yesterday morning I'd been working on getting the packet finished and had been trying my very best to keep Zoee out of my hair and especially keep her away from the desk and my police paperwork. I finally finished everything and was feeling pretty good that I'd accomplished what I needed and wasn't going to be up super late after work stressing about my habitual procrastination. So while we were downstairs Zoee disappeared. (Can you guess where this is heading??) she disappears. I think nothing much of it, thinking she's just gone up to her room to drag another thing down stairs to play with. A couple minutes go by, I couldn't hear her. So after about 5 minutes I go to check on her. About half way up the stairs I call her... and I could hear her sliding off the edge of the computer chair. I panicked hoping that she'd possibly been tearing up the paperwork dad had been working on. I came around the corner to see her trying to escape before she got caught and she froze when I turned to corner. Well, she hadn't torn anything up, but she'd gotten the pen I'd been using all morning- This little girl colored ALL over her legs, on the desk, on our little stool we keep by the desk, and sure enough, dad's packet. Once I saw that she'd gotten the packet scribbled on I LOST IT. I freaked out. I yelled NO!! at the top of my lungs a couple times not knowing what else to say. She in turn panicked and started throwing a fit, threw her bink, tried to swing at me (her timing with those naughty attempts to hit are sometimes the worst possible timing), and threw herself on the floor to continue her fit. I picked her up, swatted her on the butt and left her in her bedroom, in her bed, while I went back into our room going nuts. I didn't spank her hard. I didn't spank her more than once. But I did swat her in anger and before I though it out. And that is what has been the worst part of the entire situation. I should never lose it like I did yesterday. I could hear her still screaming in her bed and I felt about as bad as what her screams sounded like. I doubt I will soon, if ever, forget the feeling of anger and panic and hopelessness and confusion and being purely upset that I felt at that time. It was bad. I've since cooled down. I've taken my moments with her today to tell her in her ear how sorry I am for being so mean to her. I hope she knows how much I love her. She is the best little girl I could ask for. And I still need to work on my parenting. I need to work on myself. So that's been a big event or 2 in this little house here.

Second- Stac and I had another interview with Bishop Jex this past sunday. We met with him last sunday. We told him straight out that we want to get back to the temple regardless of what it is gonna take. We want our membership back. We want that strength back in our lives and in our family. He said he'd talk to our past bishops to help get caught up with the spiritual side of things while we filled in the story line of our past/s. So this is what we know as of this past sunday. We seem to be doing pretty good all in all. Stac was told she's good. Things are cleared up for her since she was much MUCH MUCH more on tops of things back when our drama all unfolded. I, on the other hand, am still disfellowshipped. As with how that goes, it takes a disciplinary counsel to initiate a disfellowship, it also takes one to end that disciplinary time and have full fellowship and privileges returned. So I will be going this sunday night at 6 to see if I can get un-disfellowshipped and ultimately move on from the whole ordeal having learned one of the hardest lessons of my life and at the same time strengthening my testimony of Christ's sacrifice for us more than I'd ever expected. I'm hopeful. Bishop Jex also told us that he would like for us to start attending the temple prep class that they will be starting in mid-April. Needless to say, Stac and I are beyond happy to think that one of these days we actually might be allowed back in the temple. Together. And to think that we, at one point in time, were not even considering having much relation to one another other than what would be good for Zoee. Just amazing how the Lord blesses our lives.

Third- Also during our visit with the bishop we got a little surprise. More like a huge surprise. They gave Stac a calling. Simply because I find it somewhat ironic, I am going to allow her to be the one to fill you all in one what that calling is. Like I said, she was much more on the ball that I was. I know she's really nervous and unsure about it. I know she'll do good though.

Last- my wife is becoming quite the little Las Vegas farm girl. She is slowly turning our front and back "yards" into something a little less brown and grey, and a little more green. She's hoping for some beets and tomatoes. And I'm hoping and the beets don't make it too far. They smell like dirt. Correction, they stink like dirt. So far everything is looking good and cute. We'll see how things hold up when things really heat up around here.

So there you have it. A not so short update of things in our little corner of Vegas. Some up's, some down's, but in the end, we're doing pretty okay here. We love you all.