Life's Stages

this is nate.
It's funny how every once in a while you have those "Crap. This is serious stuff. How on earth did I get to this point??" wake-up moments that are both a reality check and a cause for reflection. I've been having some of those this past week. In the past weeks these have been some of the bigger things that have put me in that "Crap. How......" mindset. 1) We ordered/bought a big rug for our really big, empty family room (should be ready/finished early march). Going through that woke me up to the reality that I now have a house. And I am now responsible for everything in it, buying stuff for it, protecting it, doing and re-doing it for as long as we decide to stay in it. And that house is our little haven from the crazy crazy world. I just want it to be nice and a good place for the kids to grow up in like I always felt mine was as a kid. 2) We finally got the w-2 we've been waiting for from Mandalay Bay. Once it was all said and done, I made around $58k this year. WHERE ON EARTH HAS IT ALL GONE!?!? And why don't we really have much more than what we do to show for it? Why isn't any of that in savings? And why aren't our bills caught up and paid for? And on the other hand It has made me EXTREMELY grateful to have a job and especially a job that pays as well and mine does. Times are really hard on a lot of people right now and I feel like we've been really sheltered from so much of the bad things happening as a result of the economy/credit crisis/housing economy/ no jobs happenings going on right now. My job is a blessing. 3) I have 2 beautiful, wild kids that I love to death. I've been feeling like its time to start working on another one. Stac isn't so sure about it yet. She get all sorts of nervous when I tell her I feel like we're ready for another. AND the more I joke about using it, I am getting more and more fond of using Rufus for a name. Yea, I am serious. Stac won't let it happen, but I do like it. 4) One of the less-than-well-thought-out decisions I made before we got married was buying the Xterra. I still can't believe what I got suckered into, but it'll suffice to say that I over bought for what I wanted and needed, and we've been paying the price ever since. As much as I have loved that car, the day has come that I give it up for the better of the family (that I'm sure will be getting larger if I can convince Stac.) We traded in the X and ended up with a minivan. Yep. We are a van family now. Neither of us can wait for the first trip out of town simply to have all the room to travel comfortably. So Stac is now a van driving mom, and for the time being I'm stuck driving the car that tells everyone paying attention while driving, that ILOVEN8 (till we can get the plates changed over and registered and all that junk.) And that has been one of the big moments of the week. I feel like I've finally let go of that bachelor decision, and moved forward to my reality; the reality that says I have a family, I don't need 4x4 when we never have money to go camping and snowboarding and off roading, that when taking a road trip we have to decide between no room in the malibu versus horrible gas mileage in the X. Something as awesome as the X was not really intended to be a family car. And that is my reality now.